Is Your Website an Internet McMansion?
Imagine you’re driving down a suburban street and suddenly you see a house that’s so absurdly out of character for its surroundings that you have to slow down out of disbelief. Your inner pirate exclaims: “‘Tis no mere house —’tis a monstrosity! Thar be 10,000 square feet of dirt encompassing 9,500 square feet of house. It’s two stories tall, has a turret, gables, a 20-foot door, four car garage… Aye, it’s so damned proud of itself.”
Why are you talking like a pirate? I have no idea. But that house, my friend, is a McMansion.
A McMansion in its natural habitat.
Investopedia defines McMansion as “a disparaging term for overly large and opulent mass-produced homes that lack architectural authenticity or class. McMansions are considered to be generic and a cliched reflection of new wealth and superficial lifestyle.”
Why are we talking about gauche architecture? Because expensive websites with boring or bad content are the McMansions of the web.
How is a website like a McMansion?
Those of us in the business of building or managing websites have a keen eye for class and quality. As soon as a page loads, we can tell whether we’re about to have an informative and engaging experience, or if we’re watching a train wreck render one pixel at a time. The fakes and phonies stand out immediately, and there are millions of them on the web. (If you want to develop this skill, check out our podcast Copy Talk.)
In the content biz, there’s a lot more to a website than just the visual and technical elements. The words matter. BIG TIME. But you know who doesn’t grok this simple fact? Millions of companies with shitty websites.
They think having a rotating image carousel makes their site “nice,” even if the carousel rotates so quickly it makes the reader nauseous. Or they’ll string together meaningless words like, “Driven by innovation. Powered by technology.”
What does that even mean?
I don’t care how much was spent on graphic design, javascript animations, or scrolljacking. If the copy sucks, the website sucks. And if I visit the blog only to find the most recent post is from 2018, I’m gonna start wondering whether the company is still in business.
If your content is dated, your website is dated. Dated content is the architectural equivalent of ionic columns on a home in the Arizona desert.
Is this house in Beverly Hills or the south of France? Who cares? It’s hella ugly.
Content is the only thing that matters
Think of your homepage as the front door to your business. Do you want someone to knock on the door and ask, “Hey, I’d love to know more about your services?” Or do you want them laughing and walking away?
I’ll give you a second to think it over.
If you answered “laughing and walking away,” you’re fired. Turn off your website, burn your domain registration, and go back to your home under the bridge downtown.
You know what invites a person in? Something that engages them! Don’t make the front door to your business so confusing that a customer can’t even find the doorbell. Get rid of the whizzbang SVG animation and the frobscopper Javascript interactions if they’re not helping people understand what the heck it is you do.
I just visited Dbrand’s website and I immediately saw a black Playstation 5. It looked super cool. Here’s what it says: “DARKPLATES. Imagine your PS5, but Matte Black.” And there’s a button that says, “STOP IMAGINING.”
Right below it: “AIRTAGS. Losing your shit has never been more expensive.” Guess what the button says: “BUY FOUR.”
It’s making fun of me, making fun of Apple, and making fun of itself. As a tech guy with a sense of humor, I love this experience. And it’s so easy to understand. I click the button, I get four overpriced cases for my overpriced bluetooth location beacons.
This home was inspired by an MC Escher drawing. The architect started it on a Wednesday and had his 6-year old nephew finish the drawing because there was a big UFC match on Saturday.
Is your website a McMansion?
When was the last time you updated your website? Or your social media accounts? Does your website still celebrate your company’s 10th anniversary, even though that was four years ago and now you’re going to have to call the designer to update the image so it says 15th anniversary next year but you lost her number and you’re not sure if it even matters anymore so why do we even try?
Arr, ye be needin’ an update.
If you have a nice website with bells and whistles, who cares? If the content is aging and reflects a company that has no online presence or engagement, why are you keeping it online?
Either way, I have good news. A content strategy is what you need. And guess who can get you started? You guessed it! We can! Yes — Edify Content can help you. And it won’t cost you an arm and a wooden leg. Just use that contact link at the top of our website. Fill in the form. Tell your leadership team you hope you didn’t just make a mistake by giving us your email address. We will get back to you within hours.
If you don’t want to pay us or get a free consultation, we are happy to tear your website to shreds on an upcoming podcast episode.
